2 Things Stealing Your Joy

What do you need to enjoy everyday life? Do you already have what you think you need and still deal with unhappiness? What if you received what you thought you needed and still felt empty?

In today’s post, I write about two things keeping you from enjoying everyday life. Yes, it is possible to enjoy the journey.

1. Idolatry

An idol is anything you want or cherish more than God, anything you seek to give you only what God can, whether that be significance and security or safety and fulfillment. What do you often think about in the privacy of your heart for joy and comfort? What would make you feel as though your life had meaning if you received it? What would make life not worth living if you lost it? Pastor and author Tim Keller gives some examples in his book Counterfeit gods:

An idol has such a controlling position in your heart that you can spend most of your passion and energy, your emotional and financial resources, on it without a second thought. It can be family and children, or career and making money, or achievement and critical acclaim, or saving “face” and social standing. It can be a romantic relationship, peer approval, competence and skill, secure and comfortable circumstances, your beauty or your brains, a great political or social cause, your morality and virtue, or even success in Christian ministry.

For me, money became my idol. Aleasha and I graduated with a great deal of student loan debt. Since then, I’ve been obsessed with getting us out of it quickly. Longing for the secure and comfortable circumstances money would bring, I said in my heart “If only we could get out of debt, then I’d be happy.” But, at that point, I became a slave to that desire. I craved it more than God. This led to a breakdown in my marriage and my relationship with my kids. I was unhappy, for years.

What got me out of this rut? How do you effectively address the idols of your heart? Keller stated “Jesus must become more beautiful to your imagination, more attractive to your heart, than your idol. That is what will replace your counterfeit gods. If you uproot the idol and fail to ‘plant’ the love of Christ in its place, the idol will grow back” (p. 172). In his sermon “Sin as Slavery,” Keller explained this is done through spending consistent, quality time with God through his Word, prayer, and going to church where there are other like-minded believers by which to do life. Jesus must become your source for joy, security, significance, and longing. In other words, whatever you are seeking in your idol, find it in Jesus.

2. Ungratefulness

How would you feel if you gave your child or loved one a gift and he or she only focused on what you did not give? First, I would be angry. Then I would feel like not giving this ungrateful person anything else. Does God respond the same way to us? After God rescued the Israelites from Egypt, he provided them manna to eat in the wilderness. But they did not appreciate his provision. Instead, they focused on what he did not provide—meat. This greatly upset the Lord.

Soon the people began to complain about their hardship, and the Lord heard everything they said. Then the Lord’s anger blazed against them, and he sent a fire to rage among them, and he destroyed some of the people in the outskirts of the camp. Then the people screamed to Moses for help, and when he prayed to the Lord, the fire stopped. (Numbers 11:1-2).

Ungratefulness keeps you from enjoying everyday life as it takes you out of the present, only to focus on the past or what hasn’t happened. For years, I focused on what God had not given me yet: freedom from debt. I wanted money to enjoy life more and live a certain lifestyle. But I failed to realize and appreciate all God had already given me to enjoy life: Aleasha and our kids, basketball at LA Fitness, food, music, movies and shows, college and professional sports, local friends, my job. I was being childish, and needed to learn to accept the season God had me in. The Israelites spent years in the wilderness because they did not learn what God was trying to teach them.

One of things God has been trying to teach me is to have a faith that is not moved by circumstances. He wants me free from fear. In the movie After Earth, Will Smith’s character Cypher Raige powerfully states to his son Kitai:

Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It’s a product of our imagination causing us to fear things that not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity, Kitai. Now do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.

Similar to what Kitai learned at the end of the movie, I needed to learn to live in the present. As Jesus said “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes” (Matthew 6:34 MSG).

In Numbers 11, God proceeds to give the Israelites what they want, but he promised they would eventually loathe it because they loathed him (verse 20). The same is true for the idols or good things you long for and pursue more than God. If you set your whole heart on those things, then like any addiction the satisfaction they can bring will soon wane and become stale over time. It is only when you taste and see that the Lord is good—sense his greatness through regular worship and time with him—will those other things taste delicious. You must want God and what he wants for you more than anything else.

Conclusion

We all have those things we cherish. But when you cherish created things more than the Creator, it leads to brokenness (see Romans 1:18-32). Joy comes from wanting and pursuing what God wants for you more than anything else. Only then can created things become deeply satisfying. It is also important to live a lifestyle of gratitude. This is done through focusing on what God has given you instead what he has not. Be and live in the present! Finally, pursue God through regular time in his Word, prayer, and with other believers. When Jesus is most beautiful to your imagination, you will enjoy everyday life as you wait for him to fulfill his promises to you.